What an head ache

I'm still feeling weak legged after my sudden head pain on Tuesday, it just came out of the blue. I was talking to Andy when a sudden pain stuck the back of my head, followed a split second later at the front. I couldn't focus my eyes and they seemed to go in different directions. The Arnold Chiari strikes again. I was supposed to go to be going to the pain clinic, but ironically my head pain was to bad to go.
Later on Tuesday I found out my studio has been broken into, Andy's waiting for the council to get back to him, so he can check on the damage. As far as we know the youths who kicked my door down haven't damaged any of the paintings, but have redesigned my walls. We have yet to see if any of my tools have gone missing, we know they have squeezed out my oil paint tubes. I think we need to find some were safe to store my art work for the time being.

Jane & Andy 1st Wedding Anniversary

Jane and Andy A have been married one year today.
Jane (our daughter) looks so beautiful there, especially on the photo to the right where Ruth our youngest daughter is giving her a kiss.
Its raining out side today, just like on her wedding day. On the run up to Jane and Andy getting married the weather was gorgeous, sunny and warm. on their wedding day the heavens opened. Jane had to be rushed out of the car umbrellas up, to try and protect her from the the sideways on rain. This didn't spoil the day it was magical. Lots of lovely family and friends, good food, and plenty to drink. In fact I remember her saying the other day, that there is still wine and beer left over from the wedding in the celler. Happy anniversary Jane and Andy.

Whats that caterwauling!

Andy and my self were talking tonight about how we in general were discouraged from singing from a early age. Both of us would love to sing with out feeling to self conscious.
I know when I was a child I used to love singing and make up songs. then you get to an age where all of a sudden your family stop thinking how cute. they start saying stop singing you'll make it rain, what a racket and whats that caterwauling?
Ive done it myself no matter how good the singer if its one of your family our a friend a derogatory fraze is bandied about. With out thinking you crush the pure joy of singing out of that person.
I was in the church choir when I was eleven and enjoyed the power of the collective voice, even though at home I could no longer sing for fear of been ridiculed.
I remember singing a hymn in my bed room, one I was to practice ready for early morning song, the following Sunday. I sang thinking no one could hear. I heard my sister say "just listen to her". It might not have been said in the wrong way, but I heard it as, who does she think she is what a rotten voice. I slowly lost confidence and stopped singing in the choir.
Now at the age of 53 its very rare you will hear me sing. But if the house is empty or when I used to drive the car I can still belt out the odd song or two.

Every cloud has a silver lining?

Its ten to four I've been awake since two thirty. I feel really down in the dumps, stressed and I'm aching. They say every black cloud has a silver lining, If that's so, where's mine?

Ignorance is Bliss

This is a photograph of my little girl Ruth, out climbing in the peak district.
She's the one nearly at the top. I find it terrifying, I wished she hadn't sent it.
Ignorance is Bliss, as they say. I know Ruth goes climbing and she enjoys it and that enough for me.

Its got Brakes!

I was talking to my Mum about the trouble I've been having getting my wheelchair. The social services where sending me a chair, little did I know the chair was to be one with little wheels. This is no good for walks in the country side, plus it wouldn't give me any Independence. Yes I know I can't wheel my self round with a self propelling chair, but at leased I can maneuver my self out of the way of people when needed, if I was left for a short time. So Andy's taking me to a mobility shop to look at some chairs as soon as the cars fixed.
Mum was telling me about her friends chair she said it was fantastic, and she will ask her friend where she bought it from. Yesterday she came in all excited with the news, Oh that chairs fantastic its got brakes and every thing. What a relief! bless.

Harry the Theoretical Vegetarian

I've been surfing the net for images for a family blog site, when I came upon this cartoon. As soon as I saw this, it immediately took me back to when Angie (Andy's sister) first brought Harry (her husband then boyfriend) to meet us. Angie met Harry in Germany where she was working as a nurse in Ragensburge.
Harry is very lovable character and a caring person, who we all used to tease terribly.
Angie and Harry were coming for dinner, Harry said he was a vegetarian.
No problem, a veggie alternative was prepared. We sat down to eat, Harry started to fill his plate with meat, I said “I thought you were vegetarian”? Harry's reply in a strong German accent “yes I am, the only meat I eat is of animals that eat vegetables”. We do love him.
Harry was taught English at school and speaks it well, although he had some strange ideas of British life styles and especially how British home were decorated. From the books in his school, he was under the impression we had carpets or some kind of rugs on the walls of our houses. Strange what kind of things get taught in schools some times, it makes me wonder what I was taught about other cultures.
I'm sorry Harry, if you happen to read this just one more from our first meeting.
Harry and Angie had stayed over and were washing the breakfast pots. Harry noticed a pot in the window with tea bags in. (we compost our tea bags) Harry "why have you old tea bags in the window"? Angie " Oh that's because we use them again in England" Harry "Oh" with a look of bewilderment. Andy and Harry then went out to the shops, for what I can't remember. On their return Angie and my self had pegged up all the old tea bags on the washing line out side. Harry puzzled glanced at the tea bags, Andy looked at us with a 'you wicked sod's kinda look'. Back indoors, Me,"Harry would you like a cup of tea"? Harry very hesitant "Yees please, Can I have a new tea bag please" he said very politly. I'm not sure when he cottoned on to our little antic, but it was after they left.
Poor Harry, he now gives nearly as much as he receives.

A moment in the mouth

I started a diet last Monday. I weighed in at 12st 6lbs, and over the last week have lost the fantastic amount of 0 lbs, not being able to exercise or doing any thing much doesn't help, you can't call making the odd cup of coffee exercise. At least I haven't put any weight on which is a blessing.
I found a wonderful photo on the web, when I look at it, it reminds me of a saying. A moment pleasure in the mouth and a life time on the hips! I don't think that lady had heard of the saying, but she seems happy and that's all that matters really. I might put the photo up on the goodies cupboard door with the saying as a caption!
I need to lose around 20lbs to feel and look better, all the extra weight I'm caring can't be helping my stamina not to mention my back and knees.

Storm in a teacup!

Things don't half seem to pile up at once. Things are tight with me being ill for so long. But luckily we don't need much to keep me and Andy happy. They re does seems to be a lot of family challengers going on as well. One of my daughters seems to be taking things bad, but really she's just going through normal stuff with a young family. she needs to take a deep breath and look at all the good stuff, they both do. My Sister is very up set. Her daughter has lost her business. All this and so much more.
One thing though we paid off the car this month it's now ours! It's just had a service last month a MOT and a new and expensive clutch. At least we don't have to worry about that for a while, we might keep it for another year, save the money from the monthly payments for other stuff. Great! Fantastic! Breath a sigh of relief!
WRONG! the bloody thing cut out on Andy last Thursday. It just stopped, Andy called out the recovery people who spent 3/4 hour on it, to be told I think its the fuel pump? The ******* car is in the car park waiting to be picked up by the local garage. God know how much this is going to cost. We had one estimate quote; " If its the fuel pump ssss its going to cost you. sssss the pumps around £500 and the if the cylinders need doing, sssssss well that a couple of hundred each then there's labour. sssss its going to cost ya!". Some how we didn't trust him I don't know why!
So it any one guess how much!
As the saying goes at least we got our health.
It will all turn out well I'm sure, it usually does. After all in the sceem of things, its just a little storm in a teacup.

Birthday Girl

Monday the 12th of May my 53rd Birthday!
It started off with the opening of Birthday cards and presents. Ruth was here and she had brought me a gorgeous bunch of flowers and a box of chocs yum yum! Vivyan and John sent a bottle of very very nice smelly, which I put on immediately.
After a quick slice of toast, it was straight to Auntie Irene's to drop Sylvia off (Sylvia Andy's Mum). Auntie Irene is lovely but you can't stay long because she is a heavy smoker and the house takes your breath away if you aren't used to it.
Next a trip to see Professor Venibles (neurologist) at the hospital, I know how to have a good time on my birthday!
What a waste of time! When we saw the proff he said "why have you come I said I didn't need to see you again in hospital". my replay was "I know I came because your secretary sent a letter telling me to". So not to wast our time we asked him for a prognosis, he told me he couldn't give me one. He did say that the up and downs I have been having will continue and the lack of energy is a part of it. So nothing new except I know what to expect with the Arnold Chiari.
Again the conversation and energy used to get to see the proff made my legs like jelly, yes a wheelchair was needed yet again.
We lunched on mardy food, good old fish and chips! Nothing better.
After a good rest my birthday was back on track. Andy took me to a local garden centre to buy me some tropical fish for my birthday. The garden centre has wheelchairs so Andy wheeled me from the car around the centre, were we bought fish, a hat each and some gardening hand tools that my Uncle David was buying me. Then extremely tired but happy back home.
Andy helped me from the car to the house, when we arrived there was a very big bunch of flowers waiting from Andy's Sister (Angie), her husband Harry, and the girls Hannah, Colette, Leonie and Kitty. It of course caused a tear or two, it was so nice of them. I do miss them all, can't wait until I'm a little better and can be visited, or better still visit all our brothers and sisters. I spent the rest of the day in bed as my eyes were going in different directions, wobbly legs that was having trouble holding me up and a rotten head ache. There I had to stay for a couple of days, the only exception a trip to the doctors.
All worth it I had a lovely birthday, shame about the trip to the hospital though, but never mind.

Fun with Finlay

We had Finlay on Sunday, while his mum and dad went to a wedding. What a treasure he was as good as gold. We put a child's gazebo up for him with his road carpet so he could play with his cars, he was very excited by it and said it was a den. he spent most of the morning in there playing.
Andy who had been playing golf came in just after Finlay arrived. My Mum came up to help with Finlay until Andy got home, as my health not quite good enough to be left for long in case I tire my self out playing with him. As usually Sunday morning means bacon or sausage buttie, you can't hide your working class roots, and I don't want to any way. On hearing his grandad say, "any one for a bacon sandwich", Fin got straight in his little garden chair ready for a sandwich that boy can eat. he's only just two but what an appetite.
Around twelve Andy went to pick his Mum up from the railway station as she had come to Sheffield to stay with her sister for the week, but was staying with us for the night. It's always interesting having the two Mums together.
Andy had just left when Finlay decided it was lunch time. He said Mom-mar Fish finger beans please, he's so cute. after lunch he rubbed his eyes and said nap, so off to bed he went, for two and a half hours! I joined him for most of that time.
The afternoon was magical. The garden looked like a kinder garden toys every where.
My mum had gone home for a couple of hours for a rest from competing with Sylvia (Andy's Mum). It was lovely to see Sylvia enjoying watching Finlay play has she sees very little of him, as she lives on the east coast.
The peseta resistance for Fin was when Andy put out the Paddling pool! he loves water. After helping his grandad to fill the pool they both got in a splishy, sploshy time was had with exceptional amounts of splashing with their legs. I was quite envious but really enjoyed watching them with Sylvia, I took lots of photos.
the day was topped of with a lovely paella Andy cooked, my Mum came back up, and Ruth came and stayed over night.
Jane, Andy A and of course little Amber came to pick Finlay up, and manage to stay for a hour or so. A wonderful end to a lovely day.

It's now official!

I'm absolutely bushed, and back in bed. After a lovely couple of days and a visit to the hospital yesterday plus a trip to the doctors this morning. This mornings trip to the doctors was with knee problems, it's now official I have arthritis in my knees, and I have just had a steroid injection under my knee cap for the pain. The next blog is on a brighter note, what a wonderful time I had on Sunday and Monday afternoon.

Laid Awake

I'm laid awake its ten to three, I have really tried to get some sleep. I had about 1/2 an hour but woke up having had a bad dream. But can't get to sleep through muscle spasms and trapped wind under my breasts. Thank god for my laptop. I have been surfing trying to find out stuff like: what are those wire worm like things in the garden soil? I now know they're snake centipedes. Is there a Time Bank in Sheffield? No but there's one in Chesterfield. The Beiderbecke Trilogy on DVD, Andy said he looked on Amazon and they only had it on VHS. Found it, brill! Amazon has it on DVD on offer plus free posting, I might buy my self that for my birthday. Looked for a blackbird image, found a albino blackbird or should I say a white-bird image. Isn't it beautiful. It's ten past four, Ive still got trapped wind and my legs are busy, but I must try and get some sleep! I think I will go and get some mint tea that might help. the Rennie's didn't. back in bed tea in hand, while making the tea I remembered about the Indian Brandy in the cupboard, what fantastic stuff its working already. The Robin is singing his little heart out, what a beautiful sound, he will soon be accompanied with the other birds. I love the dawn chorus. Yes the blackbird has just joined in, marvelous.

Andy's Book

I have been reading Andy's book again, he wrote it a few years ago and is still waiting to be published, I really wish he'd make time to look through it again and send it off to some publishers. It's a very compelling book it only took me a couple of day to read it I just couldn't put it down. What surprised me was while reading it I forgot Andy had wrote it, that's got to show its worth.
Set in the last recession Hugh and Erica are back on the council estate were they started from, after moving slowly up the property ladder to a house where they thought they be comfortable for the rest of their lives. Hugh had lost his job during the recession, after some time out of work he found a menial job at a recycling plant. While Erica worked at a clothing factory. Their lives and the lives of their two sons, friends and collagues, have a mixture of love, lust, loyalty, sadness and hope. While running along side Hugh's fascination of a piece of waste ground near his work. I love the way he captures the power and life with in that small but significant area of ground. I wish I was more able to rite a review of this book. You will just have to wait until he finally gets it published, and judge it for your selves. Unfortunately it still needs a title, the working title is Whistling Hendrix a very good title but doesn't really fit it.

Bank Holiday Weekend

Our bank holiday weekend started on Friday 2nd of May. Friday as usual Jane came with Finlay and Amber. Amber was unwell to say the least. She was in a lot of pain and could not feed very well, and seemed to find it painful when she was picked up, bless her. Jane rang and made a emergency appointment with the doctor who said Amber had a nasty virus. Poor Jane and Amber has had a horrible weekend but thankfully Amber is feeling a lot better today (Wednesday). Later on Friday night Vivyan and John came down from Edinburgh It was lovely seeing them, I have mist Vivyan. They stayed over night and went to see friends Saturday until Sunday.
Saturday tea time we had a visit from uncle David, (He's not really my Uncle He's my Dads cousin).David was very upset because BT (British Telecom) had cut of his phone for no apparent reason. Because he is very deaf he couldn't ring BT on a ordinary pay phone, so he could not find out what was wrong. So 80 year old David came to us for help. To cut a very very long story short. He was cut of last Tuesday 29th April, his neighbour rang BT to ask why, and when he could be reconnected, BT promised to reconnect David on Thursday when that failed, again for Saturday. That brings him to us on Saturday tea time. Any way BT said he would be connected by Tuesday at the latest. Wrong, we had another visit Tuesday tea time, his phone was still cut off. By this time he had got the hole situation out of perspective. He was in a very black mood in deed, he talk about suicide if his phone wasn't put back on soon, A bit dramatic one would think, but he feels very vulnerable with out communication, mainly his computer and of course the telephone for emergencies. Andy managed to calm him down, which wasn't easy. To day he back on line and a lot happier thank god, or should I say thank Andy has it was him who put a lot of time and effort in to it.
Moving back to Sunday Jane came down with the children she looked tired but then she would as Amber was still quite poorly, and Jane was having to coupe with it all because Andy her husband was out of the country. At least she manage a hours sleep while she was here. Later Vivyan and John came back. Monday was a lovely day, we had a lazy start to the day, the weather was quite hot and sunny, we had our lunch out side. Andy had made fresh chick pea bread and humus, we had Bree, olives, butter for the bread of course, cherry toms all washed down with a child bottle of rose`wine. Good conversation and good food always make a perfect lunch. after lunch Andy, Vivyan and John played boules, while I took the scores. A good time was had by all. Vivyan was very happy as she had beat the men over all, and did her victory dance, of course!
I did think a lot about Ruth this weekend, she was in Cornwall being fitted for a bridesmaid dress for a friends wedding, which is nice, but being selfish it would have been good to have them all together.
I can't believe how much was happening around me over the last weekend and I've come out of it tiered but not too bad at all, this is promising. It must be helpful that I am getting a better nights sleep, I've not managed another six hours yet though.

Mr Heron

Mr Heron has made another call.
Last week I started to feed the fish in the pond with frozen blood worms as a treat. The fish soon realised when I went to the pond and they saw my shadow, that meant food. What I didn't realise was that in doing this, I was preparing them to come to the surface every time they saw any shadow. Great, this meant when Mr Heron came for a visit earlier this week, the fish came up hoping to get some food. Little did they expect that they were on the menu! I feel so guilty training them for their demise by Heron. Sorry little fishies.

Six hours sleep

I've slept, after over four months not sleeping through pain and nightmares I have finally slept. Bring out the champagne, a toast to the wonderful nothingness of a good sleep. I had six full glorious hours of sleep! Fantastic, roll on tonight here's hopeing for another good night.